Obama Says Attacks On Palin’s Bastard, Love Child Off Limits

Chicago [CBB]-  Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama continues to stand firm on his statement that the families of either party’s candidates should ‘off limits’ to criticism and scrutiny.  Obama said whether or not Palin’s daughter Bristol is actually the mother of Palin’s youngest son Trig should not be discussed, but Obama did point out he, of course, can not control what the media reports. 

‘I have always maintained a person’s family life should remain private, regardless of how juicy, sensational and magazine selling the idea of Palin actually being Trig’s grandmother might be,’ Obama said, ‘now certainly if Mrs. Palin wishes to submit to a DNA test to prove the paternity then that is her prerogative, but my campaign is staying neutral on the situation no matter how much Trig looks like Bristol’s boyfriend.’ 

Obama went on to say that he would focus on the issues, including the war, the economy, the environment, high gas prices  and the need for a government funded survey to the study in the increasingly new phenomenon of older women taking their daughter’s illegitimate children and raising them as their own.    

“I also refuse to answer questions pertaining to rumors that Gov. Palin had a long standing affair with space aliens or how the sex tape might or might not be circulating around the Internet,” Obama stated, “Americans need solutions not salacious news about the alarming increase in women governors of large, cold climate states that begin with the letter ‘A’ being involve in tantalizing sex scandals involving extraterrestrials, caribou and moose. Or is that meese?”

The McCain campaign acknowledged Senator Obama’s gracious commitment to keep the personal attacks out of the press in kind by saying it would also refrain from noting how much Obama sounds a lot like Osama and will not comment on rumors of a certain Presidential candidate’s alleged love triangle involving a well known environmentalist and a New York senator.  A statement from the McCain said that ‘the private sex lives of Barack Obama, Al Gore and Hillary Clinton divert attention from addressing more pressing matters like wives of well known candidates that hate America.’

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4 Responses to Obama Says Attacks On Palin’s Bastard, Love Child Off Limits

  1. Doug says:

    Hahaha! Good satire is always dangerously close to the truth. Just ask Barack Obama, who I would like even if the rumors about him being a Muslim are true!

  2. Gert says:

    I am a Republican but I am very happy that Obama has taken the high road on the Palin issue.
    Back in May they really went after his wife in ways that disgusted me, as a woman. But when Barack had the opportunity to sink to there level, he declined.
    I am not impressed by Obama’s record but I am impressed with his candour and I really cant stand the extreme right of my own party. As of now, you can demote me from strong Republican to leaning Republican

  3. The post was actually a backhanded way of saying they weren’t taking the high road. But…eh…to each his own.

  4. Dave says:

    As a moderate, I can say that all the really filthy rumors always seem to come from the far right. Every day it seems like something new- The Michelle Obama “whitey” thing, the Obama birth certificate flap, the mudrassa rumor- All of which is unbridled hopeful rightwing speculation. A little research bears out the truth, but who has the time?

    Unfortunately these tactics work. They’ve been successful in the past (Swiftboat) so they will continue.

    Once more, until the Palin bastard thing, the talk from the left has been far less nasty.

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